Somewhere in the middle

heart

I’m not sure how I feel about you now. Is the pleasure wearing off? Maybe. Nothing lasts forever they say. I’m not sure who they are but life seems to agree with them.

Life seems to give us beginnings, middles, and ends. Are we at the middle or the end? It’s hard to say. I still get that buzz when you give me that lovely little smile and bite your lovely little lips. I still get excited when I hear your voice. But I don’t ache for you anymore. I can go days without you.

Let’s be optimistic and say this is not the end. Let’s say we’re floating somewhere in the middle. We’re floating in some muddled middle of thoughts and feelings with memories keeping us afloat. I’m not ready to touch ground yet.

But…but…there’s still a but. There’s doubt. I hate doubt. That sick feeling that something will go wrong.That this airy sensation will turn into me hurling to the ground, trying to grab onto you, anything about you, and hoping that the crash won’t be so painful. I’m being dramatic.

I’m trying to feel something or rather exaggerate what I do feel about you. I’m exaggerating you and I, because I still want that to be a thing…you and I..us.

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