“So what’s the verdict?” Becky asked the next day when she found me sitting alone on the bleachers. The game had ended and everyone had gone home after our loss, except me. I needed to think.
“She’s asexual. She’s also moving away.”
Becky made a cute worried face and asked if I was OK.
“I’m alright. How’s Jane?”
“Still interested in Vanessa.” Becky sighed. “But we went shopping together and I guess we’re friends.
I wondered if being lesbian friend zoned was the same as when girls and guys did it to each other. It probably was. It didn’t matter what gender or orientation you were, rejection always sucked.
“Is Vanessa even…?
Becky laughed, “I think she might be bi-curious. Her and I did kiss on a dare once.”
My jaw dropped, “no way.”
“Did you like it?”
“Who doesn’t like kissing her.”
“True.” I replied, remembering all the times I had kissed her.
“Any plans for after grad?” Becky asked.
“I’ll be doing the college thing. You?”
“Congrats. I’m going to Europe for the summer. Pierre booked a few jobs for me.”
“Wow! I’m jealous. I’ve never been out of this country.”
I often wondered how girls were in other places. If they also ran their towns and schools. If all the rules were made by them even if the guys didn’t know it. I wondered if I’d have more luck somewhere else. Becky had traveled a lot and claimed things weren’t that different in other places.
“No matter where you go you’re always going to have your sweethearts and your ass shits.” She explained.
“Hey Beck, do you want to come over?” Jane yelled as she entered the field. She was with two other girls who looked exactly like her type.
On Becky’s lips emerged the smile that I had grown to love. The one that only Jane put on her face. Maybe part of the reason I liked Becky so much was her loyalty. Much like me, she had been nursing a crush on someone who didn’t really feel the same. But Becky had been loyal about it. When Risheda asked her out she turned her down saying her heart was preoccupied. I on the other hand was doing as much as I could to kill my feeling for Becky. But it wasn’t as if I had a choice. Becky wasn’t even bi for me to really attempt pursuing her. It wasn’t like I could play naive either. I knew she was gay before I fell for her. But it would have been nice to be Jane in that moment and be the one she loved. It would have been nice to have someone hold a candle for me. But I had to accept that some girls like girls, some girls like multiple boys, and some girls don’t want anyone.
There I sat alone on the bleachers watching Becky walk off with Jane and two other groupies knowing that there were some places that boys were not allowed, or needed for that matter. I was in the middle of feeling sorry for myself when Travis playfully tossed my hair.
“Hey what are you doing here alone?”
“Thinking,” I responded a little more solemn than I had intended.
“Wow, it thinks!” Vanessa teased.
Donna took a seat next to me and the four of us sat on the bleachers finishing off Vanessa’s fries while we talked about prom.
“You can always come with me and my dates,” Vanessa said.
“Uh, I think I’ll pass.”
“It’s too sad to go to prom alone.” Donna pouted, “we have to find you a date.”
“Lots of people do it.” I shrugged.
“Not by choice, ” spoke Travis.
“I guess I’ll be the first. I am choosing to go to prom alone.” I raised my fist in the air to affirm my decision.
Prom night came and as promised my parents presented me with my long awaited present. It was a white Jaguar XJ-S. My mom wanted to go with something modern. “A boy his age needs something practical” she had said, but my dad who was a classic car enthusiast won out in the end and I gushed when I saw my classic beauty. I sped over to show it off to Travis and Donna who fell in love with it just about as fast as I did.
“It’s so retro!” Donna beamed.
“I know. She’s my new love.” I smiled kissing the hood of the car.
“Can we go for a ride now?” Travis asked
“Freedom!” Travis shouted, as we whizzed through the streets reminiscing about the school year, until we found ourselves in Becky’s part of town. It must have been subconscious. I hadn’t intended to bring us this way but I guess your heart just takes the lead sometimes and you find yourself doing things that don’t quite make sense.
Feeling confident and spontaneous, I decided to take a chance to find out if Becky had landed a date for the evening. Her parents said she was at Frost, skipping prom entirely. That was not acceptable to me and I quickly drove to the ice rink to find her.
“Becky! What’s this I hear about you skipping prom?” I said, finding her drinking a strawberry shake and eating nachos.
“I was never planning on going.” She said as she dipped a nacho into the hot processed cheese.
“You have to go,” Donna pleaded. “It’s a shame to miss it.”
“I have no one to go with.”
“You can go with Kevin.” Travis said, giving me a firm pat on the back.
“Yes. Please. I’d be honored to go with you.”
In fact it’s what I wanted all year…all my life possibly.
Becky smiled and said “Oh alright. But I’ll have to go home and change.”
“We still have time. I’ll help you.” Donna said.
Half an hour later I was walking in the big gym with the girl of my dreams. Although she may not have felt the same about me, it was something I’d remember for a life time.
Vanessa walked in with two guys, neither of them minding when she took turns dancing and making out with the other.
Mel looked very dashing in his suit and oddly enough had made amends with Paige before grad, who he was seen dancing with throughout the evening.
In the middle of my much anticipated slow dance with Becky, Jane tapped my shoulder.
“Can I cut in?” Jane asked.
No you may not! I waited my whole life for this, and this may be the one and only time I get to wrap my arms around her. I thought to myself
“Sure,” I half smiled, releasing Becky to the one she really wanted to be with.
Becky went red and kept smiling as she danced with Jane. Travis draped his arm around me and shook his head.
“Best to stick to girls that graze in your pastures.” He advised.
I sighed. The grass was so much greener on the other side.
Becky pulled me towards her, as the DJ sped up the music. It wasn’t an ideal happy ending but I was with all my friends, high school was over, and there was always college to look forward to.